Okay,

Tara died of a heart attack. To be honest she was not well for a long time. She had an enzyme deficiency which meant that she could not digest a lot of fats. We had her on supplements but still it probably was a strain on the body. She tripped when running to fetch a stick and appeared to catch her hind leg on the limb of a fallen tree. She limped back to us and was dead in less than 2 minutes.


I am not sure how to follow that bit of news with this bit of news with out seeming insensitive but meh here goes.

I have a nice shiny new laptop. I wanted a gorgeous number on Overclockers but it turned out that it was a custom build gaming laptop and I was unable to find out the chipset which meant we could not gamble that it would be compatible with our OS. Then the lads found a net book for 350 on line. I almost wept, it had an atom processor, something like 1.6 GHz. It was 10" across. I was devastated but decided to take it gracefully after a few tantrums. Then it turned out that the company the lads ordered from could not deliver.
The younger sibling spotted this little baby in PC world for 550. It has a dual core processor, 250 gig memory but as we could not delete "shudder" vista...as it would void my warranty.I lost a bit of space to partitions. The Graphics card is unfortunately an intel embedded one. oh and its another 17.3" except this is a wider flatter monitor than my last laptop. I feel so excited and happy. The last laptop went senile. I think the RAM was faulty and I am not so sure about the memory. Either way it would crash in special and creative ways regularly.

Belfast was an unexpected adventure.

The younger sibling wanted to leave early that friday to be up nice and early, unfortunately I got delayed when the Public health Nurse turned up just as got out of the shower, I ended up dealing with her while wearing only a towel. Classey

We hit the road in the Bright Green Volkswagen Jetta, note this car is 21 years old and has a 1.6 Liter Diesel Engine, good for horsing around but NOT fast and terrible acceleration. Note this as it will become important later.


I ended up driving up all of the way to Belfast and made good enough time. Arrived and parked the car beside Queens University Student Union Building. Went in to find we missed the sign up for the evenings RPGs [role Playing Games] but we got to meet up with some friends, chat to some of the cos players and look around the stalls. The sibling wanted to get some new board games, I wandered over to a stall that had a colouring in competition. Spent an hour colouring in a picture with markers at a table, felt like gamers creche.

Went out after about 2-3 hours to pick up the car, noticed some PSNI [police service Nothern Ireland] talking to a bunch of glum gamers but did not take much note of it, probably being booked for a bald tyre or something. Went to where we parked the car, only to find another car where our car should have been. We walked up and down the street incase my memory was faulty, nope NO CAR. Went over to the PSNI to inform them of this development. It turns out that the poor bastards that we passed earlier were reporting an attempted car robbery and subsequent damage to their car. The first thing Constable B**** said to us was that it probably was stolen.

PANTS.

So the nice Constable took our statements in the back of the police car, as we phoned home to explain our predicament and to ask the parents to cancel all of my bank cards as they were in my bag in the boot of the car [i had two purses, one for sterling, one for euro, had not swapped the cards out of my euro purse] We were told that it was highly probable that it will be found burned out. They took a list of all the stuff we had in the car, including the siblings laptop for uni, got me to sign the statement, gave me a slip of paper that was my receipt and dropped us off to the B&B we booked. The only break we had was the B&B was prebooked and paid for on a 3V voucher, which the sibling still had on his person.

So We are in Belfast, with only the clothes on our backs,40 pounds sterling and phone credit burning up like a demon. good way to start a weekend.

The B&B to be honest were lovely and I would highly recommend it, Pearl Court. The lady lent me a baggy T-Shirt for a night dress, put us in the apartment section of the B&B so we had access to a shared Kitchen and sitting room.

So my Saturday was spent looking for primark, the northern Ireland equivalent of pennies. Trying to get a change of clothes, underwear, pajamas and socks for the pair of us.

The only good news I got that day was the B&B over booked and instead of upgrading the next guest to better rooms they decided to upgrade us, so we got a complete ground floor apartment, with our own private living room, leather couches, private kitchen, bathroom and twin room with a divider. It was very Nice and at no extra cost. The owner-manager lady was also nice and was listening to the local radio news for any reports of our car, it happened to be the same day that the unionists declared a commitment to disarming. What some news stations did not report was that a few controlled explosions were carried out on suspected car bombs..... Also we were not far from where the Romanians were attacked not long ago http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/06/23/belfast-romanians-leave-a_n_219777.html

Well I missed all activities that day for Q-Con except for the table quiz and the "disco" [personally hate that word, so naff] after. The DJ was actually got WORSE since last year. We had gamers, emos, goths, rockers, headbangers, Punks, girls with Mohawk/mohican hairstyles the music was a bland mid tempo, not good enough to mosh to, not good enough to slow dance to. So we had that uncomfortable middle ground where you are mulling around uncomfortably trying to dance but really waiting in hope that something better would come on. SERIOUSLY I went to a Macra Na Ferma [young farmers organisation/youth club] black tie ball and moshed out more, they managed some AC/DC, Rage against the machine, black sabbath and metallica which the Q-con disco could not even cough up, Q-con DJ did cough up Barbie Girl by Aqua......enough said.

On Sunday I gave up the car as a dead loss, joined a kick ass RPG, paranoia http://www.mongoosepublishing.com/rpg/series.php?qsSeries=19, had loads of fun singing the loyalty song, my character was the happiness officer, I made sure everyone had lots and lots of happiness pills. Did well except just before the end of the game, I feared that my character was going to be captured and as this would count as theft of property belonging to "our friend the Computer" I committed suicide. so it turned out that the only reason why I did not win the game was because I killed my character [thinking it would come back as a clone]

Just before I was going to leave to catch a bus down to Limerick, I decided to call the PSNI and see if there was any news for me. To this end the Reception of Queens Student union allowed me to use their phone. The car had been found. It was in coelraine, one of the thief's were captured with the car but the guy at the desk had no further information for me.

At this point I would like to thank the Dragon Slayers [gaming soc] for stepping in and pulling strings to get accommodation for us on campus. So we hung around Belfast until Monday.

Monday, we pack up our stuff into bin bags and prepared to head up to Coleraine, only to discover that the PSNI had not started forensics on the car. It should be noted that phone calls are horribly expensive, even to receive them, this was crippling us, the mother had to call 5 police stations to get the ball rolling. In the back ground once or twice she hear it being referred to as the Fenian car, the police thought it was funny because as cars go, it was stupid one to steal. It is slow and stands out as it is one of the few green jettas in the country as they were never made in green day one.
So we had to stay another night in the student accommodation. Funds are long gone for me, Brendan has his bank card and is dipping into his personal savings.

Tuesday we get the bus up to coleraine, to get the car. We had to pay 150 pounds recovery fee, out of pocket. The insurance company were not inclined to help us as it would be cheaper to scrap the car. Now the car is worth a lot more than its book value, the brother wanted to keep it long enough to make it a classic car, we had the engine rebuilt, power steering installed, the body work done up and resprayed [professionally for 2 grand,] new sound system installed 3 weeks ago, I helped to wire and solder in, new radio, fancy indicator switches, extra lights and wiring installed. In short it was NICE.
The car sustained some damage to the body work, we dont know if the chassis is damaged yet. The front left panel is badly dented, bumper damaged and brackets broken, indicator lights miraculously working despite the case being shattered, paint flaked off a few places.They attempted to break into the boot but failed so all of our stuff was still there, Including the siblings Laptop and computer gear. The left, front passenger window was damaged, the glass is okay just the gears-wire system to raise it was broken inside the door, so it was stuck open. The new Radio was taken but they did not mess up our wiring, so re installation should be easy, around the steering wheel is a mess, they pulled out the wires for the the petrol gauge and heat gauge as well as the wipers. In short the car was drivable but was damaged.
So we phone our mechanic at home, the guy is a walking genius, seriously he has patents for batteries and stuff. Inorder to drive the car home we had to hot wire it and disable-remove the steering lock properly. He talked me through removing the steering lock, got most of the way through except I needed some special equipment to unscrew the central bolt in the steering column, so the garage boys finished the job, took out the broken bit of metal that remained of the lock and reassembled. The sibling and I changed the tyre.

At this point the Officer that arrested the guys and got the car turned up. He wanted permission to take the seat covers to see if he could get fibers for evidence.

He told us that he was on duty in a police van and noticed the car,with the guys inside looking dodgy. He decided to pull them over [breathalyze or check license etc] but they drove away, he gave chase. Our poor jetta managed a full 100 miles per hour or 160 kilometers per hour. We are frankly amazed. They hit into a few things while driving and threw stuff at the police van such as beer cans. They pulled into a country lane and stopped. The driver, fast off the ball escaped through the fields, it was 2 am so the police could not see him/follow him. The passenger was not fast enough and got sprayed in the face with CS spray [tear gas] and by looking at all the foam on the side of the car [snot and mucous] he got a face full.
Later that morning the driver broke into another house and stole a set of car keys and subsequently the car. He was arrested not long later.

When we asked if we should sue for damages, the officers reply was classic, "you can't get knickers off a bare arse". the driver had spent six of the last 8 years in police custody or in jail.

We got the car home, despite the fact it rained on us and we had no wipers, thankfully it happened on side roads and on the dublin road but we were stuck behind a slow truck so we were okay. I was in the front left passenger seat so I got soaked...

Now we are waiting to see the actual extent of the damage from our mechanic and the chances of repair as well as cost.

so not a good year so far.

Lets see.

We decided to tell grandad that dad was unwell and had Myeloma, okay we never mentioned the "C" word, just what the disease was all about. Grandad is currently staying in a nursing home as he has been suffering from chest infections. Beyond that he is pretty mobile and lucid.
Things were going well on Saturday night, we watched the game in the day room. The nurses were taking out the other patients to bed, so we got it to ourselves. The Grandfather enjoys a night cap before going to bed, a glass of whiskey or the like. The nurses turn a blind eye as it is usually only the one and he is never any trouble. As he had company he had decided someone was going to join him in a drink [as it was good hospitality] My aunt and Uncle were there as well as the parental units and I. My Uncle was on duty as an ambulance driver and could not drink, my aunt was off duty but was driving. My Mother was driving and the father was on opiates so he was content anyway. So Responsible Parenting stepped in and I was told that I was taking one for the team, and was handed a generous glass of whiskey [ie 3-4 measures, we work on the policy, pour generous now, saves time getting up and pouring more, in the long run]

There is something surreal drinking in a day room of a nursing home [okay I know, I know, I used to drink sherry when I was small with my grand aunt, she was of the generation that saw nothing wrong in giving a 9 year old a "small drop" every now and again] Getting steadily drunk while your sober family looks on is very odd. I thought I was in the clear when I finished the glass but a can of Guinness was also opened and I had to finish it off as well [thankfully I learned to drink with old men]. Still I got terribly paranoid and anytime a nurse passed by I was ducking the glass off the table, not realising that the Can was in plain view, drunk logic.

Lets see, we also managed to do 2 cuts of silage, not a proper cut as the grass growth is all over the shop, which forced us to cut one or two fields at the time instead of all at once. We are doing another cut on Thursday and hopefully two more from the second crop in September. Although last year we did a cut in October-November.

On Friday I will be going up to Belfast with the younger sibling to Q-Con. A gaming convention. I went last year and dragged the sibling along as we both could probably get some class of culture there or something. This year he is dragging me along as I need to get out more and talk to "real" people. Apparently sock puppets dont count.

Okay Update

I mentioned in the entry on april 27 that Dad was unwell. In march he sustained a broken rib. The rib broke when he sneezed on a flight back to Ireland. He had been in Doah [near dubai],part of the reason he was out there was to visit his brothers and the other part was because my uncles recommended a medical facility to get him checked out. Dad had been complaining of ill health since last September and before that was just getting run down. We had him checked out in the Midwestern Regional Hospital, Mallow and St. Johns as well as the hospital abroad, all of them said that he was fine and just needed to take it easy. The sickening thing is that we made the appointment with the oncologist through our GP in January and the soonest they were able to book us in was early May, the guy was booked solid. Once he was looked at by the oncologist, things started to move. He was admitted to hospital the same day [tuesday], got a bed the next, had an MRI scan, a series of bone marrow and blood tests and a confirmed diagnosis by friday.

It turns out that Dad has Cancer. Multiple Myeloma. Its an incurable Cancer. It affects plasma cells that produce antibodies. One of the side effects is that your bones decalcify, that would explain why his rib broke from sneezing Unfortunately the delay in diagnosis has meant that 3 of my fathers vertebrae have turned into swiss cheese and have began to collapse in on themselves. The rest of the spine is damaged to various degrees. The spinal chord is still in tact which is good. With treatment what remains of the bones can recalcify but unfortunately this is only strengthening and filling in the gaps in the remains of the damaged bones, not fix the collapse or heal back to the way they were. They have still to check the rest of his bones. Dad starts Chemo tomorrow and is on steroids at the moment.
The only good news is that he has a dedicated pain management team and they are not the airy fairy bunch that tell you to visualise a happy place full of sun and bunnies, these guys mean serious sedatives and happy drugs. There is a good chance of remission, unfortunately he is guaranteed that it wont last very long and the cancer will come back. They can treat the returned cancer and he can buy more time but each remission gets shorter and shorter until he builds up a resistance against all treatments. By my calculations, he wont see 65, if he makes 60 he is doing well.

Now I have the great difficulty in figuring out how to steralise the dog. We want to keep the place clean while dad is on chemo and Tara is a house dog. I am thinking of by weekly washes in tea tree shampoo and keeping her indoors so she cant pick up muck. We are lucky that her bed was always hygenic for a dog. From the day I bought her bed, I had a system where I wrapped the core pillow thingy in two black bin bags and sealed that with tape, then covered that with the outer fleece layer, that could be washed in a washing machine.

Oh joy.

Yesterday the father had a check up with an orthopedic specialist in our local care center [formerly a hospital in the 50s-60s it has since been used as a rehab center for people recovering from car crashes and hip replacements, very small] Dad ended up getting X-rayed in many interesting poses and then told he needed to go into hospital.

This is where the fun starts. They got dad into the Regional in the evening, around 5 PM. The Accident and Emergency area was packed. The overflow trolley area was filled so he ended up in the corridor and 20 hours later is still there. The wards are full and there is nowhere to put him. To be fair his doctor came down and talked to him this morning. Things have not improved by the fact that Nenagh and Ennis both have lost services especially after 7 pm and the regional was not expanded to take the over flow. To put this in context. I was admitted into hospital in January, before Ennis and Nenagh hospitals lost services. I spent 7 hours in A&E and was given a bed in a ward. I thought that was bad, there was only 3 beds in the overflow ward that night and two of them were drunks sleeping it off who needed a few stitches. That was on a Friday Night. Dad went in on a Tuesday afternoon.

By the Way the Mid western regional Hospital [limerick] A&E is divided into 4 areas of unequal size. There is a sit down waiting area which is small. Can hold about 8 people at best, walls have cracks and holes where plaster has been blown out of it, that is the least of the troubles. There is a big central area, thats where the ambulance drops off their charges on trolleys. that can take about 6 trolleys two rows deep, three across with enough space between for someone to check up on them. I have seen 8 or 9 there but then its sardines level of packing and a doctor wont be able to get to the middle. Then there is what I suppose is triage. This area is pigeon holed out into mini rooms with examination beds and mobile blood pressure recording units. Here is where they take bloods and see if you are likely to die immediately. If they think you are going to live but still need attention then you are in for a long wait. Finally the overflow ward. This area is, as far as I can tell, for emergencies and is a mini ward where they can put patients on trolleys until they can deal with them. In short it does not have great capacity. Also it takes a lot to get as far as A&E, there is another waiting room outside A&E where you wait to be admitted.

The only ones that have a hope of getting to the head of the queue are people who have something immediately life threatening such as a heart attack. Considering that if you lived in the back of ennis [say 15 miles into the back of beyonds in Clare] your survival chances are dramatically reduced compared to me who happens to be 25-35 minutes in bad traffic from the regional, last ambulance we called out took 20 minutes, must have been speeding, just as well as dad was bleeding out at the time from severe wounds [nearly completely severed his leg]

There are moments in life, where the world evaporates and shrinks away leaving you in your own cocoon of bliss.

Now is one of those moments.

I had firey hot Chili for dinner with sushi rice cooked to perfection [for once, has taken me 3 months to get it right, sticks together with out being gluey. I also got the nori to flavour it just right]

Then I had a very nice Yoghurt from an Irish company [glenisk] that I have grown rather fond of. That helped to cleanse the pallet. I first got into them a year ago when they started to put out their cool 4 pack, the plastic pot was wrapped in really nice glossy cardboard finishing, which meant that for recycling you just had to pull a tab and the paper and plastic were instantly separated. http://www.glenisk.com/uploads/images/gallery/products/glenisk.strawberry.multipack..jpg does not really show the pot but you can see the great brand. I just realised they are low fat, don't taste that way. Excellent.

Right now I am enjoying a fantastic cup of coffee and a few squares of rich dark chocolate. The market was on yesterday in UL. My favourite Coffee guy was there and I got two bags of the stuff. The coffee I am now drinking is known as "Monsoon Malabar". Apparently the reason it is called Monsoon is that the coffee was stored in open warehouses during the monsoon season and the water was allowed to wash through it, leeching the acidity [I was dubious about the negative effect this would have on flavour balance] but when I smelled the stuff .... wow, we all know the smell of fresh coffee beans, but this had a warm, musky undertone, reminded me of cut grass. http://www.badgeranddodo.ie/index_files/CoffeeBeans.htm [scroll down the page to get the description] The second coffee was Brazilian Samambaia, I am excited to try that one as well.

The Coffee I am now drinking was roasted on Sunday, three days ago, apparently that was enough time for it to settle, I did notice that the coffee grounds today were lovely and frothy when I first added the water due to CO2, a sign that it was genuinely fresh. I had the coffee ground yesterday as I watched. I invested two years ago in a cafetière [also known as a coffee plunger] and I have to say, it beats most electronic coffee makers. Mainly if you are like me and happen to be lazy and if you have a good quality coffee plunger, all of the components can be washed in the dishwasher [provided the coffee grounds are dumped first] which is decidedly easier than cleaning out a machine.

The best bit...two fresh bags, hand ground, freshly roast [and custom blended if I wanted] came to 11 euro. that is 5 euro for one and 6 for the other bag [one was a fancier bean]. In my opinion that is good value considering that bewleys [oily crap that could have been on the shelf for months] is about the same.

Well lets see.

I have gotten back into bad habits. I had been so good but now I am on the Caffeine again. Serious levels of caffeine, discovered Monster Low Carb, the stuff is rocket fuel. Dont drink it with Chili Con Carnage [chili so hot that it burns the inside of your stomach and is general carnage on the digestive tract, leaving destruction and mayhem in its path] Monster just makes it worse.
Also new since I decided to take it easy a while back is Red Bull cola, tastes nice and full of chemicals.
Red Rooster, tastes like fruit flavored petrol, will hit you hard like an articulated lorry going out of control. It seems impossible to get the sugar free Red bull, That stuff was good to get you wired and twitchy.
Diet cola also is good for a general starter, something to ease your body into the mayhem.
I realised I had a problem last friday, went to the "better" cafe that was near the computer labs [they use reasonably freshly ground, mediocre quality coffee, as opposed to instant] I had to explain to the barista how to make an eyeopener. She had never heard of it before. It is a large strong-killer strength coffee, full bodied french roast, is preferable but in this case I got the regular crap and two shots of espresso thrown in on top. I have began to remember why I loved coffee so much. I have fallen in love with a brilliant Ethiopian coffee that is available at the market in UL every tuesday. The acid balance is perfect as well as the bitter tones. I find so many coffees just don't hit it just right. It helps that the beans were roasted a few days previous and ground infront of you.
I have regained my irregular eye twitch. Cant tell if people have noticed yet, probably will politely ignore it thinking that
1 girl has a twitch...dont stare...
2 Oh god she is going to murder us all in our beds....be polite, don't give her cause...
3 Oh god did she just wink at me, is she coming on to me....oh god she is going to murder me in my bed.....

I love deadlines.

Dad is officially Banjaxed. Rib should be about healed by now but he seems to be suffering from acute muscle spasms. Reaching the full length of his back and into his hips as well as across his chest. Strength is gone, lifting anything more than 2 kg will get him. Getting in and out of chairs is a challenge. The only fun bit is the walking stick. He can poke the dog if she is in his way now.

Hi

I have been away for a long time.
I am sorry.

Crazy things have happened in the interim.

I am now engaged. There is a poor individual out there wondering if it is too late to change his name and move to Alaska.

I got Lymes disese. I have never been to America so the doctors were very impressed with my creativity and determination.

I upgraded my computer. It is a little better but still not a gaming machine and as each day passes this pony looks less and less like a race horse.

I am in my final year of uni.

I need to figure out why I posed about angry drunk hedgehog, although I seem to have one of the earliest postings on the topic on the internet, I think it is worth exploring, unfortunately I have been good and sober and I usually get the urge to write about that character at 6 am after a bottle of Jameson as the first light of dawn burns my flesh.

Angry Drunk hedgehog is now in a paranoia withdrawal state.

When we met our hero last, he was hiding after the brave assault on the S.C.I.U. Offices.
Unfortunately the hiding place, a warm lined burrow, must have been under higher surveillance than suspected. As our hero drifted off to sleep one night, some evil force must have drugged him. Angry Drunk Hedgehog did not wake for a considerable number of weeks. Many have made comments with words such as "hibernation". Angry drunk hedgehog believes that he is above such mundane seasonal mortal functions.

Our reporter managed to get an exclusive comment from our disheveled friend.

" Never, never will they get my magic pest dispatcher, never, I shall call upon the sporky sharkley army and then we shall see who has the bigger spleen. They give the sleepy, THE SLEEPY, they steal my time, time, so much time lost....must find it and hide it again. You have time, GIVE ME YOUR TIME. The head, they pound in my head, armies of little stomping in my head. Must eat the matching stomping in head. They have poisoned me, the great and glorious Fairy Princess Moongas"

Apparently the supply of Humane Pest dispatcher has also ran low. The supply has been removed and has not been replaced. Observers have commented that as there is fewer pests there is little need for dispatcher. Angry Drunk Hedgehog has declared that this is another of the S.C.I.U.s scheme to weaken him and his cause.

This turn of events may play against S.C.I.U. and their cover, the traffic warden army of doom. The assault and the removal of the beer based Humane Pest Dispatcher has strengthened Angry Drunk Hedgehogs resolve to destroy and overthrow these powers of evil.

Angry Drunk Hedgehog has shown unmatched daring in the last 48 hours. As a result Angry Drunk Hedgehog has been forced to go underground in order to ensure his safety.

Our brave reporter has found out from reliable and mostly lucid sources that Angry Drunk Hedgehog has decided to launch his first stage of attach against the so called "Traffic Wardens."This group, he believes are the cover for the Secret counter Intelligence Unit [S.C.I.U.] that......did things to him. Also on the list is a powder blue Fiat Punto, his arch nemesis.

After observing a member of the S.C.I.U. travel upon her route of terror, risking both life and limb, Angry Drunk Hedgehog managed to source the secret base of operations of the heinous "Traffic Warden". Careful to choose his moment, our Great Librator, managed to gain entry to the assembly area. This feat was carried out by careful observation of the so called door of automation.
Once inside the premises, our hero decided to advance the cause of liberation by holding a silent, secret protest behind the office bin, under a sheet of discarded paper. Once the staff vacated the building, our hero decided to take a stand.

Going systematically from desk to desk, Angry Drunk Hedgehog left secret hedgehog packages, this took some time but was achieved by morning.

After returning to the assembly room and making a warriors exit through the automated portal.
At the time of publishing, there has been no official statement acknowledging the humiliating assault on the premises of the S.C.I.U. There has been an uprise in complaints from staff about a rodent problem.

Angry Drunk Hedgehog, self proclaimed philosopher and liberator of the hedgehog community, has declared war on all Humans.
Our brave biographer has exclusive information to the fact that Angry Drunk Hedgehog is in fact an alien. Angry Drunk Hedgehog believes that he is a member of a superior alien race that crash landed on Earth, while carrying out a standard survey mission. He also believes that he was captured and had his mind wiped by a Secret Counter intelligence unit working under the guise of "traffic Wardens".

This assault, lack of acknowledgment of damages caused and outright denial of knowledge of the SCIU have inflamed Angry Drunken Hedgehogs sense of outrage and anger.

A small militia has been formed. Initial recruitment has proven successful, in the first day a rare beetle and two tiger worms offered to join. Angry Drunk Hedgehog saw that there could be no greater honor than laying down ones life for the greater good of the cause....Angry Drunk Hedgehogs personal grievance. Based on such assumed loyalty, he saw it fit to promptly consume all recruits.

Tara is now on more regular walks, as my mother has little else to do while convalescing. [remember not allowed to drive or sign legal documents]

Two things have emerged.

1 Tara has found a favourite tree for eating wind fall apples off [or the red ones from the really low branches], she will got to this tree first when she is in the mood to break her diet. Generally mooching up to it in a determined bee line, casually sniffing and a quick check to see if anyone is watching....chomp chomp chomp....an apple down the hatch.
2 She has also started to casually eat blackberries off the bush. She can pick them one by one so the thorns dont prick her.

Also she has discovered how to wink.

I jest you not.

It started after dinner one weekend. When the dinner is over she will inspect all the plates [remember alsation here, she is tall enough to see over the edge of the table] anyone with left over food is under obligation to hand it over. No one was giving her any attention so plan b comes into effect.

Plan B is to plonk herself on her arse and scrape the leg of elder sibling as he is a soft touch at the table, he looks down and asks "what do you want?" [she knows what this means, believe it or not]
Looks up at him. Jerks her head at the chicken on the counter and winks. Like a proper T.D. on election eve.

It worked, she got food and ever since she has been using it to great success.

Angry Drunk Hedgehog was served with an ASBO today for vandalism and disorderly behavior.
After eating the contents of a Human, Environmentally Friendly Pest Dispatcher [a glass of beer tilted on its side to catch slugs and snails] Angry Drunk Hedgehog was inspired with a pro-active confidence.
After marching in what he calls "an orderly wobble", he stumbled upon a four inch stainless steel masonry Nail. This find coincided nicely with ADHs new awareness of a powder Blue 1999 Fiat Punto in his vicinity. One can only imagine the inspirational thoughts that ran through Angry Drunk Hedgehogs Mind. That is why our trusty chronicler asked ADH, what was going through his mind.
The following narrative has been translated as best as possible.

"Oh dear, hark fornicating Butterflies, I believe that they may be infecting our feet with the scurvy itch.....May I be of assistance, male offspring of a female canine, yes, it is you that Im addressing. Could you please refrain in addressing me, I believe your presence is attracting the unwanted attention of the near by elephants, that are residing in yonder flower. I shall remove them from this land, for they are not native and it is the only correct course of action when dealing with monkey brains."

Following this speech ADH challenged the Fiat Punto to a jousting tournament. The decided lack of recognition from the said automobile incised the Hedgehog into desperate measures. The Hedgehog charged with the nail embedded in his spikes. Unfortunately due to the Magic Human Pest dispatcher in his system, his aim was poor. Instead ADH stumbled a good 45 degrees in the wrong direction and into the tire of a wheel barrow. The impact of the fall combined with a bald tire led to a puncture in said carrying device.

The noble nay, honorable task of chronicling ADH's numerous achievements in advancing the garden and country Hedgehog cause, has fallen upon me.
A lone and strong advocate for oppressed, displaced mammalian creatures, this unsung hero stumbled into notoriety by sheer accident. After drinking Magic, human pest dispatcher, a wondrous transformation took place, changing ADH and all with in shouting distance of him.

Mom is going in for radical surgery on Friday.

The good news is she was bumped to the top of a six month waiting list and has two consultants working on her.

She will not be allowed to drive or sign legal documents for a month.

Looks like this was a good time to get my second provisional.

Im stuck at home for a few weeks.

Things are looking netural at the moment.

Got called for a co-op interview [work experience for Universities] I was one of only Three called. I was also the only person to have got the job, first in my class.

Unfortunately I got Intel. I have yet to hear a positive report from them. By the looks of things I will be a glorified secretary to an engineer but I dont have to worry about co-op unlike the rest of my class.

Mom is out of Hospital and the good news is they know what the trouble is, a premaliginat tumor, thankfully it was found good and early so just a matter of taking it out and checks twice a year.

Tara has finally put on weight, only because the blackcurrant's have gone over and she has stopped eating them off the bush.

Still havent got the swing of uni yet. I need a project or something.

Uni starts next monday.

Whoo hoo. I have already been scheduled for training meetings and recruitment.

Mom is in hospital again. She is being poked and prodded. Unfortunately she has very very very ...very deep veins. I accidentally insulted a doctor of some class as I could not help giggling as she was poking my mother. Half an hour later she still didn't have a blood sample, even after using a pediatric kit. Though this is very common occurrence, mom is great at deflating egos.

On the up side I am now driving solo but on the down side I have to drive my younger sibling everywhere.

The dog is filthy again. She has a fascination with water and mud. Dad put out some manure that had composted nicely with the old muck spreader. He was washing it out with a power washer. To everyones surprise Tara managed to jump a full seven feet and hook her front legs over the edge of the opening of the spreader. With aid from the back legs, she flopped inside the vessel for muck.

Attempts to convince her to leave the stew of muck, grass, water and filth were unsuccessful.

Needless to say she is a happy doggy.

Im back in Ireland.

I wish I wasn't but for some crazy reason I seem to want a bit of education. Apparently it can do great things these days.

I liked Korea for many reasons. I liked that two sushi restaurants were on my block. Take out sushi for two is about ten euro and you get chicken soup and noodle soup to boot.

I liked being able to go around in massive sun hats, parasol and fan. I realise that I may have looked a shade crazy but this is coming from a girl with 3 feel long hair.

I really hated leaving Korea this year though.

Now Im in ireland and hanging around for a bit feeling bored. Helping around at home as the mother is having a bad spell and is not up to much.

Tara the wonderus anti diet dog has finally been broken into one and is gaining weight. Well almost, the apple trees are dropping the first of the crop of the eating apples. She has disappeared a few times and has been caught in there guiltily choming. Tara over the yars has managed to do so much damage to her digestive system that we have to add some enzyme tablets to her food. The only problem is that she is now more hyper active than before. The other problem is that we have a dog with an Disney level of self confidence, "NO, stoopid Dog,DOWN, Get DOWN fuckoffyoustupidbitchthisdressisnew" to her means "hold on a minute, keep begging so I dont forget, you know I cant resist the urge to drop everything and play with you for the next five hours"

beyond that getting slowly ready to go to uni and face another year of testing how close one can go to a nervous breakdown and still pass exams.

Still in Korea.

Typhoon season somehow missed us. The closest we had was a small one that changed its mind and hit Japan just before an earthquake struck.

Now it is officially the end of the "rainy season" which was a disappointment. Now the hot season is about to start and we are going to roast our asses off.

Mud festival was last week. Everyone got sunburned. I avoided most of the sun and Im still in terrible condition. Thankfully I have returned to white again [white skin and blond hair are about 60% of basic qualifications needed to teach here] My skin is in bits in every way possible. Thanks must be said to peadar who has been patient enough to pick up lotions and creams and patiently sat there while I bitched.

Now im going to share some more gems of teaching as I have collected so many and I need something to keep me in good humour for cleaning the jacks.

1 Patrick is going to die because he is stupid [the answer was Patrick is going to be a vet. Took the wrong impression of the picture of a boy helping a sick dog and thought the dog was patrick]

2 Teacher, your a woman right? [personal message to me in a kids diary]

3 Last sunday my family eats fried crap. Its delicious [crap..crab]

4 last sunday my brother and I went raping in the park [raping.. racing]

5 I did not go to school because my uncle drink soju and jump through the glass window amd went hospital and so i did it too [soju is like mild vodka]

6 I went swimming in a volcano. [I dont know where to start]


well until I think of more.

keep on truckin'